Plumbing From Home

Plumbing From Home

‘I got it, I got it!’ I crowed from underneath the sink, forcing all of my weight on the fixture, feeling it give slightly.

         ‘You don’t have to do this,’ my husband said for the hundredth time, cowering behind the bathroom door frame. ‘We can just call a plumber who knows what they’re doing.’

         ‘I know what I’m doing!’ I called back to him. ‘Just have to loosen this a tiny bit more, and—’

         With an almighty shove, the pipe came loose, and a torrent of water shot out, saturating me and almost immediately flooding the bathroom floor.

         ‘What the hell?!’ my husband squealed, jumping back.

         ‘Quick, turn the water off!’ I yelled at him.

         ‘The water isn’t off?!’ he yelled back, incredulously.

         Dripping and groaning, I shot up and pushed past him, quickly running outside and wrestling the well-rusted mains tap off.

         I walked back inside, my steps slow and soggy. My husband was resting his forehead against the hallway wall, eyes closed.

         ‘In my defence—’ I started.

         ‘Really?’ he cut me off. ‘I told you, we needed a real plumber!

         ‘I forgot, okay!’ I protested. ‘It was a simple mistake! I got back from the hardware store near Sandringham that has plumbing supplies and I just got so excited—’

         ‘I noticed your excitement,’ he said quietly, eyes narrowed. ‘It’s what was frightening me.’

         ‘How was I supposed to know I was going to flood the bathroom?’ I asked, indignant. ‘I’m not a professional plumber!’

         That’s exactly my point!

         We both stopped, took a breath. After a moment, I let out a massive sigh.

         ‘Is the damage bad?’

         He shrugged a little, rubbing his forehead. ‘It’s not too bad. Mostly stayed on the tile. Was a mop included in your plumbing supplies? Cheltenham has a hardware store that should still be open…’

         ‘We have a mop,’ I laughed. ‘Wanna stay for the cleanup?’

         ‘Can I make fun of you from the doorway?’

         ‘Of course.’

         ‘Then sure,’ he said, with the hint of a smile. ‘Then we’re calling a plumber.’

         I didn’t object.